happy mother's day

mom. thanks for making me the person i am today. without your love, i wouldn’t be so warm. without your support, i might not have this amazing job. and without your stories, i might not be single. kidding. but seriously, there’s one favour that i need to ask. can you please stop setting me up with the clerk of every store that you shop in? it’s getting hard to buy groceries. happy mother’s day, and yes, i’m still looking for someone nice to settle down with.